A Reflection of 2020; the Year of Change, and Coming Home to the Self

“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut you more deep. Let it ferment and season you as few humans and even divine ingredients can. Something in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need for God absolutely clear.”

Hafiz

I don’t necessarily believe in God. I guess my perspective on the subject is a bit complicated. The universe and the universe within us, as simple as being a human may sound, is what I believe in. I’ve not birthed life into everything- it has shown itself to me one way or…

A Love Letter to Life

I lay beside Rines Hill, a rock climbing spot that’s nestled in the woods about half a mile from the battered dirt road, somewhere in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire. I’ve found my balance on a slanted rock, underneath a canopy of trees. I’m definitely not wearing enough clothes for this weather, so the only thing between me and the decaying pine needles is my used, red flannel. I thought it was summer, but it’s actually really brisk out. There’s a chill about the wind that hits right in the chest. In that way, it’s different from a summer…

I’m sitting in the car, watching the trees blend together like a bunch of blurry pixels as the speed increases. The soft light of dawn is spilling in, stealing the remainder of the night, and coating everything in its golden hue. This is the only time you can look right at the sun and not get blinded. Mornings have stolen my heart. Everything has such beauty before the sun rises to the center of the sky, acquiring the ability to turn my skin bright red like a geranium (the color before it cools to a tan). And how everything is…

I stare at the glorious mountain before me and seek out the words to describe her in true form. I am only human, much younger than she; just a seed in life’s spiraling cycle. And I don’t know if I can hold the wisdom she does, but I know it’s there, waiting to be touched.

Some might say she wants to be left alone. People have come and gone over the years taking way more than they could give. Those whose hands are dirty with spoiled intention come with a ravenous appetite. I can’t help but think that must be…

Tour du Mont Blanc (TMB) is an extensive collection of trails through the French, Italian, and Swiss Alps. It runs around the base of Mont Blanc, the highest mountain in Europe. In July of this past year, I thru-hiked 130 miles of rugged terrain, which included 30,000 feet in ascent.

When my father first proposed the idea of doing this, I agreed, but never actually thought I’d follow through. I even told him I wasn’t going a week before the trip. I wasn’t anywhere near being ready to put my body through something like that. Then a few days before…